Keeping my mind busy and doing a lot of things simultaneously will truly get my thoughts to good use. Maybe this is why I opt to be hyperactive and take on work as much as I can. There is not question that I am still mending the pains of what has transpired for the past months, not to mention the sudden aloofness of people who I respected and liked so much. I just take them in stride, adding them up to experience and realizing the proper weight they have in my future. Sad and demoralized, people make choices, and I guess I made mine.
To love again is not among my immediate priorities. I am afraid to love again and made a fool of again. I couldn’t care less of not having someone around other than Vanessa. She is all that is left from a once promising life I thought I had. To start all over again with someone new seems academic at this point.
Some one pop the question, would I have plans of marrying again? Would I love again? I ask myself the same question everyday and the answer is thin line of emptiness. It doesn’t seem to be important right now and majority of the people I admire at one time or another, even if they deny it, would be better off with someone who can give them less complications. I envy these people, even the not so great friends I have. I may excel in work, organizing, sports and business endeavors but like most people, you simply cannot have it all. Maybe this is why I don’t give love much thought anymore even though I must admit, I look and think of someone I wish would be there to once again open my eyes to lifetime partnership.
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