Thursday, June 29, 2006

Letting Go to Know the Truth

Saying NO, especially if you are not used to it, will definitely be something hard to do for old friends and people whom you think considered you really as a friend. Most of the time, I feel myself being forced to go to special occasions, and I would rather stay at home, write articles or maybe watch some DVD movies or series than spend time with friends.

The experience I have had is really something that has made me resort to think twice nowadays. People who befriend you for the reason of knowing you can help them has become common and after some time, well, they go as quickly as they came. Sad but true, this is the real world so such things should only be expected. There is no room for self-pity today since if you want to survive, you have to show that you are strong and focused. People who would not share the same outlook would love to see a person fail, and honestly, this becomes sickening, but no one can control nor say what a person has to do. We all have our priorities. Not fixing this will lead to a chaotic life. For friends, they will be there, but some will go and will want nothing to do with you. That is a fact and no one can deny that preferences in the friends they want to have will always be a factor. In my case, I don’t have any preferences and taking it from my favorite quote “Beggars cannot be choosers.”

I view life as a movie. It has a beginning and an end. All things need to end at one point and all that is left is to script it in the way you would want to end it, with credits or without and of course if it is happy or a debacle.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

A Guiding Light towards Maturity

Guidance and control are among the things that most parents need to provide their children nowadays. The common knowledge of most kids of today is far more advanced compared to what I went through centuries ago. The manner of living, their beliefs, socializing functions are entirely much more liberated. If I compare this with the time I had with my folks, I would probably shock them and given them heart problems back then.

Well, changing times mean changing lives as well. The traditions and habits of most people of today are truly different. Some people would want their kids to grow mature and responsible. But take it from me, being technically a single father is no easy task. I try to treat it as mature as I can so that my daughter can be able to face life more positively and responsibly. For sure, all the things that she is doing right now will never be tolerated by her former mom, well basing it on experience that is. But I am happy that she knows her limits and I just hope it sticks.

Friends will be around for us, and this is perhaps why I don’t control much of choosing her friends. I let her be the judge, and well, I am only there to guide her and make sure she doesn’t fall into what I experienced. I have had so called friends before, but each disappear when the time arises. While I have handled them with tough times, it really becomes a gauge on how far friends will go for you, maybe even stand in front of a bullet for you. I have countable friends who would do it for me, and I hope she has more than just a handful to do the same for her. Besides, a father cannot be the only one in a child’s life especially after a mother abandons them. Friends and relatives are always their to fill the slack and I will just be around to make sure she pushes all the right buttons.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

A Philosophical Route towards Individual Existence

People grow up, grow old and take on life in a different approach. For some, the adventurous and glamorous life is not something that can really make them happy. Besides, living in luxury and prestige brings along responsibility on being able to live in the way that is more complicated as it seems.

No bright lights, no pat on the backs and no one to commend you, well, some people would be fine with that. People just have different philosophies and lifestyles and this is something that should not be taken away from them. We all take pride in what we do and who we are. There is no better way to describe it other than unique personalities and level of satisfaction.

People don’t really need to look further to understand a person and his activities. For each action is a reason, and this is what most people overlook. Some would be merciful to the extent that these are not what people really want them to consider. People simply want to make life as simple as they can be, choosing to live on the conservative manner rather than the wild side of things.

They do not seek understanding. As long as a person enjoys and understands the purpose of his existence, that is all that matters. People may find this weird, but the weirder part of it all is trying to come up with an excuse for the person who makes his destiny and fate in the way he wants it to happen.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

The Human Mask

We all have something to hide. We are all scared to show off who we really are. We usually don’t have the courage to be able to be confident enough of who we are for reasons such as not being able to fit in, rejection, humiliation and worst be viewed as a big joke. My point is that each of us wears a mask to be able to hide these things and spare us from imminent breakdown, especially in terms of self confidence and esteem.

Each day we meet someone new. Honestly, their first impression will certainly be not whom they really are. Personalities vary and it takes time, sometimes more than just a lifetime, to be able to know a person. People get married because they feel they have gotten to know each other quite well. But if this is so, then why do people change? Why do people end up parting ways, most of the time in favor of someone else?

So perhaps most readers are now thinking, what does this got to do with a mask? Lets start by how a mask is defined.

A mask is a piece of material or kit worn on the face. Masks have been used since antiquity for both ceremonial and practical purposes. It is used as a form of protection to hide identities.

Hiding identities is something common at first glance. Besides, rarely do we see people who can fully give their trust to new found acquaintances. People are afraid to give in, reveal their inner self. Some have taken the fall. Taking off their mask immediately only to find themselves stumbling, falling and being laughed at with nothing else to hold on for retribution. By the time a person feels that he needs to wear his mask again, it is already too late. Secrets have been revealed, leaving them in personal anguish. Taking a chance to people whom they thought they had known is already a toll in itself towards wrecking the overall confidence and security a person has. So how can a person stand up and get back on his feet and goon with what life has to offer?

Finally, the real question is, when do we take off our masks? Rather, do we have any plans of taking them off? The problem really lies in the people themselves. Masks are made to cover up and seemingly become measuring sticks of being able to determine the proper time to totally reveal their true inner self. People don’t think much of this. People who trust easily, fall easily and are gullible at times because entrusting people immediately seems to be harmless is really harmful in the inner self. This is something that people do not really see, the mental anguish that people feel when they are alone. But then again, would they care? So far, based on the people I have met and considered close friends, I would say they don’t give a damn.

A mask can stay on for eternity. For all we know, we are already in another world still wearing the very same mask we wore when we started to enter this world. For the people who have already taken them off, well correct me if I am wrong that most of the experiences that they had after such are not appealing. For the ones who haven’t well, the time to take it off is in your hands, the decision on taking it off, or simply wearing it for the sake of personal sanity.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

A Father's Day Message

Father’s day will always be known as a day to give due recognition to the fathers all over the world, both separated and not. Well, bottom line is, where would most of us be today if it were not for the Man of the House or so they say.

As I keep on telling myself, I tend to prefer being different above the rest. While it is no secret that most fathers of today may be considered extreme good dads to their children, the same may not be true if a husband is to be brought up. The level of expectancy for men today is like no other. Aside from being the acclaimed bread winners, they are expected to bring home the bacon and ensure that all their family’s needs are met. Never mind about emotional stress or concerns, men are always considered to take on such issues without problems and issues. But as they say, not all can be considered under this turf.

Father’s are usually the less known parents when it comes to their relationship with their children. Usually, it is the mother’s who provide all the needs and the interactions while fathers are off at work. If you ask me, I consider this quite unfair in the sense that not all the efforts and things that a dad can provide can truly be appreciated and in the end, should an impending break up between two people occur, the usual recourse is that children would prefer to be with their moms.

My case is different in a way. I have my daughter to me and the funny thing is I did not even give her an ultimatum. It was her choice and I had in no way persuaded her to stay with me. A lot has transpired with my former, most of which I have not yet gotten over, but if it was what I was destined to do, then I should just accept it and move on. On the low point, technically, I am still married and I consider myself used material, especially when it comes to looking for a partner. Perhaps this is one aspect that has lead me to somehow give up and emphasize on providing my daughter her needs and simply go for personal goals and achievements.

If there is one thing that I am sure of, I will not turn my back on my sibling. I am never known to be the type to turn my back on people I care and love but as long as they need them, I shall give it to them. For the people who do not understand, they don’t have to. Life is as free as it gets. I will never kneel and ask for their understanding as long as I know I am doing my part in this world. But one thing that is for sure, a father needs character and to hide emotional breakdowns and show that they are man enough to face the world is enough to show that people who take on the world by themselves without having to explain why they do so, are men that should be given the proper citation.

Monday, June 12, 2006

What Has Life to Offer...

If the world won’t adjust to you, then you have to adjust to the world.

Such a tricky phrase I picked up from the hit series Crime Scene Investigation (CSI). It was actually an episode about midgets trying to survive in a world of normal people whom they call giants. Truly, it is indeed hard to wait for the world to adjust to you, if not impossible in most cases. Evidently, people need to really do their share to be able to fit in, something that is relevant and important for people to be able to exist normally.

Each of us led different lives. Some may enjoy their life, while some are still in search of that icing on the cake in their lives where they can call themselves accomplished people, successful as far as their goal towards and ideal future is concerned. However, if it were to be summed up, I would say that not even ¼ of the world population of today can be considered content with what they have, what they have accomplished and what they pictured themselves some years back. The search for total content in their lives is still out there, but the truth of the matter is, the more a person is exposed, the more he or she must satisfy their needs and wants.

I am no hypocrite. I know I still have two things lacking in my life. One is to live on my own, living with my daughter in a place where I can say I built and sweated out. The road is not an easy one. Not really to blame the ongoing crisis, peso devaluation and governing problems that the world is facing, responsibility still needs to be honed on my part. Success doesn’t come easy and I am aware of this. All people need to work double time to consider themselves successful and gifted.

The other is perhaps easier for some but harder for me. The partner of my dreams. I have not given up hope really. It’s just that whenever I look back, an ordinary man would have committed suicide or gone out of his mind already. It is really hard when you thought that everything has already been settled, thinking and believing faithfully despite the hard times. Maybe being to confident and trusting is not at all very comforting. People feel they can change their fate and destiny, while I, God fearing as I am, approached in a different way, the normal way.

Hence, my search for a perfect fit to the puzzle is still out there somewhere. I know I have a few years left in my existence here, something that all of us are destined to have. At the moment, there are possible people I wanted to be that person, but unfortunately, maintaining the attitude of accepting and moving on has become my shield. Perhaps I have lost confidence and myself and settled to being single. Pains inside I know, but I believe it is better than finding someone and pretending to be happy. I don’t consider it a part of life as being unfair, sometimes we just have to move on and wait for what else life has to offer us.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Separating Pretenders and Defenders of Sincerity

People claim that they prefer individuals who are good inside rather than their outside appearances. Basing it on experience, on a range of 1 to 10, I would only consider such claims as a measly 3. Sure, we all know that people find certain looks, attributes and criteria for accepting people, but sometimes it is sad to say, that such claims are only for the sake of avoiding a bad image. In the long run, these people are the same ones who would shy away bit by bi, not unless they have use for you like help in financial or decision making matters. Once they have gotten what they wanted, expect them to disappear as quickly as they came.

It is a proven fact that people cannot be properly assessed. Some would lead you on, let you think that you are special to them or someone they are thankful for having. I always claim I have an empty space, and I know that for all people, the same holds true, having an empty space that can be in the form of more than one type of reason. Realistically, after this empty space has been filled, the scenario is similar to that of a “No Vacancy” sign when all accommodations are filled. In friendship, it is either they stay or go, and expect the ones to remain, the people who are truly sincere and accept you for who you really are.

I have had my own share of misconceptions about people. Before I tried to be someone I am not, but then again, it is more of fooling me than them. From thereon, I stood up for what I believe was really me, being who I am, regardless of what or how I looked. Disappointing as it may, the people who made me believe that they were close to me for one reason or another vanished into thin air. Well, what else is there to do but move on and live out life the way it should be? It is not the end of the world, and while there will be a moment of regret and pity on ones self, lessons are learned and this makes people more mature.

The funny thing about all of this is that I already had that initial impression but chose not to listen to it. It is something like having telepathy and sensing what is going to happen. But like most people who enjoy risk, what have I got to lose? I am used to being rejected or turned down, sometimes coming to a point to which I don’t really care. I have already been called names like inconsiderate, weird, childish, immature, irresponsible and a failure by people because they never really understood what I believed in nor was I able to explain my side, in fact, would they even bother to listen. Then again, it really doesn’t count anymore, and the best way is to just turn around and walk away from it all and continue what life and career have waiting for me.

Pathetic perhaps? I don’t think so as well. We all stand for something; believe in something that will make our lives as leisurely as possible. Some have dreams, but not all dreams come true. We have to work our way to them, and in the process, people do not understand the various things people do to be able to reach these dreams, or at least try to. Well, people have choices, and one thing I hate most is having to help these people and manipulate their decisions. Sensible as I am, the bottom line is, people will hear nothing out of me, especially if the decision concerns me. The final judgment shall be for them to decide on. As for me? Well, I am just a part of the crowd and observing what perhaps destiny has in store for me in the remaining years of my life.