Saturday, April 29, 2006

Enough Pretending and Reverting Back to Who I Really Am..

It has been some years now and I have often wondered when I would go back to my old self, being silent, setting my priorities straight and aiming for success in my task oriented commitments. Well, while I do not decry losing these things when I started to build on my network of friends, after graduation, everything seemed like vacation time was over.

Now blessed with a new job, something easy since I know the ins and outs, and calling all the shots at that, well, I cant get away from the friends I left behind, and with my knack for helping out my friends in their times of need, I am always a call away. But as one of them told me before, I should leave some space for myself as well. Funny, but the same person is also no where in sight and avoiding me as well for one reason or another, but no complaints from me. I am not the type to nag.

Thinking about it for some time, I think its high time I tried to avoid them, well, I guess based on my other blogs, that I will be moving forward from hereon since most probably they would as well within the year when they get their diplomas as well. Sort of like getting a head start or so to speak.

The sign came last night I guess. Well, I felt I did not belong there anymore. I couldn’t relate and it was not pleasure I was looking for. On my way home I realized maybe its time I took on other matters like my own family and daughter of course.

Today I received several messages and I chose not to answer most of them. In a way, I employed a cold shoulder, since well, it was easier for me to let go that way. Well, that is life, and we all make choices. I guess mine is to revert to what I was once was, the serious and career oriented type of person who can live without needing to spare pleasure trips with people I thought were real and transparent. No regrets, but perhaps a bad ending to what I once thought was a good move.

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