Friday, September 29, 2006

To Reveal or Not To Reveal

Keeping a secret, a passion inside for some time is not flattering to hide, especially if you continue to see this person. Chances are here and there, but finding the right opportunity to break the ice is hard enough, because friendship and companionship may be lost in the process. But as they say, if you are not inclined to take risks, life means nothing. Setbacks, frustrations, and heartaches are all normal and will be experienced in love problem related issues. But for some people, accumulated experiences from past relationships and the manner to which they view life today also counts. Some people just don’t believe that the level of maturity of most people is different than what they usually experience and hear today.

Modern day Romeo’s and Juliet’s are not given much of a chance today. For people, they don’t exist. With the way that most people experience these things today, it cannot be discounted that love and relationships are no longer reliable and essential compared to before. In most cases, people would say that timing is important; meaning that for some people, the person may already be in front of them but they just don’t see it because they do not still see the point of it all. A good friend told me this, and perhaps this is because right now, I have not really put into perspective my plans once I reach the latter years of my life. Time and again I have said, perhaps it would be best to live the rest of life alone, but as most people around still fail to differ, I would think that it really depend on the manner on how life would go through its course. But for now, I am content with keeping myself busy with my profession, writing and making the lives of kids and my siblings enjoyable as much as possible.

Sometimes taking a load off by admitting a personal secret that a person has kept throughout the years does not necessarily give back peace of mind. At the point of revelation, people would start to think if it was truly the right thing to do. For one thing, the person may not even be appreciative of the idea that this person was sincerely and truly in love with her. A blank face, stunning silence and straight vision, what do these things mean? Perhaps nothing or maybe she does not care bout the admission. But as admitted, there is no condition to it all nor are there any high expectations. This is something that most people fail to do, unconditional love and unconditional reactions. People say it is good to admit it but not all people will understand and this is perfectly fine. For all that it is worth, it is better to relay the message rather than not relay it all. Then again, don’t get false hopes up, because you only end up hurting yourself at the end. Hard but achievable, the last reaction remains with that person.

Love Without Reciprocation

Most people would disagree. Loving someone who may not feel the same nor love you at all is a total waste of time. As usual, known for being the person who defies odds and takes his joy with mere presence and companionship without anything in return, here I am, at it again. Falling for what I know will be close to impossible to happen, I guess with my state right now, not really looking for someone to be there for me at the moment, this is the closest thing I can get to loving someone and considering her dear to my heart.

I have been there. I am used to falling for people who are already committed or have fallen for someone else. But much as it would look dismaying, I really don’t care at all if she would acknowledge what I really feel for her. Telling her already my real feelings, even saying those sweet three words, feeling hurt would be as stupid as saying I love you. But the point is being able to say it for perhaps the last time, since girls are known for shying away from men who have fallen for them to preserve their existing relationship. I can respect that and while it would be heart-breaking for the average man, this is a situation wherein a person is really left with no choice. But as most people would tell me, it would be better to let the person know how you feel rather than not being able to say it at all.

Most people have different views on how to categorize love. I, for one, would rather show it by seeing the person happy, with or without her in my arms. It’s the best way to prove to her that you are not after anything else but her happiness, and we all know that love is a branch of happiness or vice versa. Such a scenario would draw raves and boos for sure, but for every person, a unique principle separates most of us, and this is what I chose to do.

I told her I would wait. She would tell me that my efforts would be futile. So I just simple answered back, well, then so be it if my efforts are for naught. I have no place to go, nothing else to do, having embarked on multi jobs to keep my mind on personal goals and fulfillment, being alone when everything is accomplished is my choice and possibility.

Personally, I am satisfied with what I have proven so far and accomplished as well. I know my achievements and accomplishments may not be far fetched nor significant for any other person, but again, this depends on how we view life. Knowing her for quite some time, seeing her in good times and bad times, there is no other recourse for me but to have her in my arms someday. Should fate have other plans, I will simply accept it as a setback, the same way that I approach any undertaking today. But this I assure you if you are reading this, I am happy with the amount of time you give me and whatever your life has in store for you, I will always be there and smiling all the way and supporting you. It’s the best way for me to show you my sincerity and how much I care for you. For my personal agenda, seeing you and the people around me like my daughter and family is the only important thing in my life. Nothing more, nothing less…