Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Who Am I? – Principles and Changes in Outlooks and Acceptance

If there is one thing that I can say that has changed in my overall personality compared to my early years, it’s that of knowing where I stand and up to what extent I can get to with anyone, family, friends or new acquaintances. Some say it comes with age, but I would call it showing respect and getting the message immediately.

I will admit, in my younger years, I was the aggressive and immature person who would not stop to fight for something until I get it. I did this despite being lambasted, belittled and called various names as stupid, idiot and so on. The fire in my eyes of proving a point back then was to get what I want and how. Some would say I was the person who would not take no for an answer, impressing a lot of people especially the opposite sex.

But now in my 30’s, everything seems to be on a different level. Some say I am still young to take on life the way I am right now, but apparently, putting my focus on a lot of things, unfinished accomplishments as far as proving to me the various tasks I knew I could be good at has taken the best of my time today. To date, it has only been my daughter, my sole daughter that has been able to persuade me to take on life the way it should be. Maybe it’s because she was given the wrong impression from the various years that I was never there or close to her.

Anyway, today, life seems so different. Rejection is still there, picky eyes, and critics who still downplay me both as a person and as a professional. I couldn’t care less about what they say as long as I live by my principles, something that my Dad taught me when I was still the immature kid around the corner. I never appreciated what it all meant until today, where I am able to handle a company where all my inputs, wishes and ideas are being put into perspective as long as I am able to justify them. Just yesterday, I met someone, asking me what my work was. He initially thought I was a sales agent, but when I said my actual position, he told me that I must have something special to be placed in that position and call all the shots. I just flashed a smile not knowing what to do. It was an uplifting complement from someone who knew my bosses well.

Meeting new people, being set up on dates, well, the usual curiosity is there, but the approach is different. Something like this is who I am, so accept me or avoid me has been the attitude I have instilled in myself. It cannot be discounted that people have preferences and should I not have them, I will just step back and walk away. It may be hard, but I would understand. Today, it is never about what I feel, but for how I would feel if there is no sincerity. People may use me abuse, but I have my limits and trust will always be broken. I listen to the song of the late Karen Carpenter, “Love Me for What I Am” and perhaps this is something that inspires me the most. Similar to Take it or Leave it…

As far as love and relationship goes, well, I take them all in stride. I am no longer the charming male specie that everyone knew. I find no reason to stomp and insist if the person looks at me at a different way. It’s only natural. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Not having someone is not the end of the world. It may be tough but hey, it doesn’t make anyone less of a person.
We all have our special gifts, and putting them into good use for the duration of our lives will be the biggest accomplishment we will obtain.

Friends, old, new and would be will be able to read this. Laugh, understand or find it a waste of time. But have you asked yourself if you are mature enough dealing with your own lives? Think about it, maybe its time you did instead of criticizing and sticking to your current beliefs. You have nothing to lose but more to gain…

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