Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Separating Pretenders and Defenders of Sincerity

People claim that they prefer individuals who are good inside rather than their outside appearances. Basing it on experience, on a range of 1 to 10, I would only consider such claims as a measly 3. Sure, we all know that people find certain looks, attributes and criteria for accepting people, but sometimes it is sad to say, that such claims are only for the sake of avoiding a bad image. In the long run, these people are the same ones who would shy away bit by bi, not unless they have use for you like help in financial or decision making matters. Once they have gotten what they wanted, expect them to disappear as quickly as they came.

It is a proven fact that people cannot be properly assessed. Some would lead you on, let you think that you are special to them or someone they are thankful for having. I always claim I have an empty space, and I know that for all people, the same holds true, having an empty space that can be in the form of more than one type of reason. Realistically, after this empty space has been filled, the scenario is similar to that of a “No Vacancy” sign when all accommodations are filled. In friendship, it is either they stay or go, and expect the ones to remain, the people who are truly sincere and accept you for who you really are.

I have had my own share of misconceptions about people. Before I tried to be someone I am not, but then again, it is more of fooling me than them. From thereon, I stood up for what I believe was really me, being who I am, regardless of what or how I looked. Disappointing as it may, the people who made me believe that they were close to me for one reason or another vanished into thin air. Well, what else is there to do but move on and live out life the way it should be? It is not the end of the world, and while there will be a moment of regret and pity on ones self, lessons are learned and this makes people more mature.

The funny thing about all of this is that I already had that initial impression but chose not to listen to it. It is something like having telepathy and sensing what is going to happen. But like most people who enjoy risk, what have I got to lose? I am used to being rejected or turned down, sometimes coming to a point to which I don’t really care. I have already been called names like inconsiderate, weird, childish, immature, irresponsible and a failure by people because they never really understood what I believed in nor was I able to explain my side, in fact, would they even bother to listen. Then again, it really doesn’t count anymore, and the best way is to just turn around and walk away from it all and continue what life and career have waiting for me.

Pathetic perhaps? I don’t think so as well. We all stand for something; believe in something that will make our lives as leisurely as possible. Some have dreams, but not all dreams come true. We have to work our way to them, and in the process, people do not understand the various things people do to be able to reach these dreams, or at least try to. Well, people have choices, and one thing I hate most is having to help these people and manipulate their decisions. Sensible as I am, the bottom line is, people will hear nothing out of me, especially if the decision concerns me. The final judgment shall be for them to decide on. As for me? Well, I am just a part of the crowd and observing what perhaps destiny has in store for me in the remaining years of my life.

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