How do you put it hmmm. A single parent? Mother and Father? Well, this was what I always wanted to be for my daughter, who has now become a full grown teenager. I was never a good husband, but I am sure I can become a good Father to my daughter given the chance. Not only in terms of monetary support, but being there for her in her times.
Ideally, children would go with the mothers when their parents separate. But somehow, I find myself in a rare position. Being chosen alone over my estranged wife is something that warms my heart and gives me a reason to smile. I remember my daughter telling me, she never knew me that well when her mom was around, and all she got was I was a very bad father or husband. Proving this alone makes it a fulfilling stage for me. Not a happy one, coz before I still wanted a complete family. But priorities and times change. I would still follow the conventional practice and observe a conservative point of view. No matter what, I am proud of my daughter and I know she will appreciate that one day.
Never in my dreams did I imagine I would be in this situation. I always looked at myself as the worst person in this world. That entirely changed with Vanessa around. She may not know it, but every time she would say that I am not a bad father, thanks for everything Papa, I love you Papa…. I would shed a tear if I were the teary eyed person. My heart warms though, and she will never know this coz like her, I keep my feeling from her. In the genes I guess.
I love my daughter, and in the same way that I was brought up by my peers, enjoying life, sacrificing for my sake, it is my turn to do the same. Enjoying life in the pre-adult years is something worth treasuring. I should know…up to now, I still recall and enjoy those years of my life.